"What Can I Do To Help?"

I hear that a lot. I've also said it to others who are sick. I wanted to share some ideas on that subject this morning. I am not specifically asking for help with these things, but sharing ideas that anyone can do to help someone they love in this situation. There are so many small things that we often don't think about, that can make a big difference.

The last time I fought this battle, I drove myself crazy trying to send thank yous and acknowledge all the help I received. This time, I asked for help. I asked someone to pick up some stamps. I asked someone else for a few thank you cards, and my daughter is helping to get them written and sent out.

Often, in situations like mine, there are some pretty strict lifting and reaching restrictions. For instance, I cannot lift more than 5 pounds. That has been a challenge. I've needed help watering my plants. I've relocated a lot of often used items in my kitchen to a level I can reach. I've had to switch to 1/2 gallon jugs of milk or pitchers, so I can lift them alone. Some heavier grocery items may need to be picked up by someone else, like bottled water or cat food.

If your loved one has pets, that can create it's own set of challenges. Walking larger dogs can be painful if they tend to pull on the lead. Bags of food or litter may be too heavy to carry. You can help by taking a turn at walking the dog, refilling a water dish, or helping with the litter box. Things that can be scooped should be put in an easy to reach place.

Driving restrictions are another inconvenience. Calling ahead to see if you can pick something up before visiting can be helpful, or offering to take your loved one to the store.

One thing we often think of in trying to help someone recuperate is food. There are certain things that should be considered. I had someone bring a nice bowl of food, but it was too big for me to lift out of the refrigerator. Small bowls are a better idea. Chemo in particular, often causes thrush in the mouth. Thrush can make your mouth very sensitive to spices, even black pepper. Fresh fruits and vegetables are always a good idea. Tomatoes can also be hard to eat while on chemo, but the yellow tomatoes have less acid and may be easier to eat. Dehydration is always a problem while having chemo treatments, so melon, especially water melon is very good. Again, remember those lifting limitations.

The tendency is to try to get your loved one to eat healthy. It's so hard to explain the nausea to someone who has never been through it. Any food is better than no food. Just accept the weird things they may ask for. Extra nutrition can always come from supplements like Boost or Ensure.

There are so many small things that can mean a lot, like helping someone with their hair, refilling a bird feeder, or weeding a small flower garden.

Both chemo and radiation can be very hard on the skin. Lotions are always helpful, even to men. We sometimes don't think about that. There are so many lotions made specifically for men now. Radiation can cause severe burns, and a nice big aloe plant on hand can be very helpful.

In an effort to help our loved ones, we sometimes forget how fragile they can be at times like these. Immune systems are weaker than ever. My daughter put a box of masks and a bottle of hand sanitizer at my front and back door the last time I went through chemo.

Last but not least, to my fellow warriors, is to let your loved ones help you.